+nokturnalkittie+:Love_hate_DIE

idlie

parehas tayong INVI.
parehas tayong mei DETECTOR.

parehas nating alam na INVI TAYO.

sino ba talaga niloloko natin?! isa't isa na ren eh.
tama na ayoko na. :|

idlie

i finally .realized. out what happend to me. haha I guess before, I was too vulnerable (i had to find my not-caring momentum just to keep going)...

but now, I'm too guarded. built walls too strong that I wouldn't let anybody through; and even if they had broken it, or rather, climbed it; I still deny and think there is [a wall]. and so I shut them out.

oh heaven, when will I get these things right?

idlie

When life gives you lemons, make lemonades!

so cliche, i know. And people think it's that easy. Problem is, most people don't know how to make lemonades (raises her hand), and so get lost with the bunch of lemons thrown at their way. (raises her hand higher. waay higher.)

more ironic than that, is that I usually tell people how to make lemonades out of their own lemons.
i got two baskets of lemons right now. how i get the juice?

well, relating to DramaBhoi (concerning pervious post and the other Drama-Bhoi related post). We've talked and admitted each other's faults (because I just know we BOTH have faults). But. somehow we just couldn't bring ourselves into saying "sorry." I know we're proud like that, but somehow, someway, both of us has to say it. Just that i always stop myself whenever i'm on the verge of it. I don't userstand why, that's just the way function. I guess.

"don't make him feel special"

I guess I shouldn't; but i really wouldn't want a friendship wrecked just because of this misunderstanding.
So. what to do?

i don't really know. maybe i'll just let things pass? I've gone away with that method before. I don't think I will this time though. (But i guess Time can heal the wound I damages on him).

and no, don't get me wrong. I have forgiven him. Just that he still acts a bit cold to me, which is quite okay. just a bit awkwaard.

AND TO YOU.
who have pretty much been the reason for my happiness, sadness, && insanity. you're the biggest lemon i ever had and the rotting ain't far.

because at first I just told myself that i'll let it go.
but I can't, i just..can't.

and somehow, no matter how hard I try to be distracted, I just get back to being more fustrated.
it's annoying. simply annoying.

much more than that, you made it feel like it was my fault.
which i completely disagree. I might have said things because I'm scared. But that didn't mean I meant them. And you never saw beyond those words. Somehow, you just thought it was "all that simple," but it never was. and more likely, it'll never be. Do you not know how fustrating that feels?

I just wanna get away from all the awkward glances, the deafening silence, and the uneasy feeling i get whenever we're both in the same room. It kills me. I wann throw you, dear lemon. I really want to. You're rotting and the trash bin's near, but if I do....

never mind, i wanna eat you. Just poison me, kay? I don't care for that damn lemonade. I just want this thing fixed.

but somehow, if it doesn't (and I won't get my lemonade), it wouldn't matter. Because nobody knew i had you as a lemonade, and nobody will know if i will get my lemonade of noot.

because even if people say that line, there will always be times that we'll never get our lemonade, no matter how hard we try.

idlie

UMIIYAK NAKO NGAYON. MASAYA KA NA BA?!
DI MO BA ALAM GUSTO NA KITANG SABUNUTAN.
BAKIT BA KASI MALIIT NA BAGAY PINALALAKI MO?!

AYOKONG ISACRIFICE ANG CHORAL. WAG SANA.
PERO MAPIPILATAN ATA AKO EH.

LORD PLEASE, WAG NAMAN SANA. (

KANINA PA AKO GUMUGULGOL DITO. MASAYA KA NA?!